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When she says she wants somebody else...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

6:24PM - This is a funny paper I wrote for chemistry:

Well, hello there. My name is Fluorine. I’d like to tell you a bit about myself today and see if maybe we would be compatible as mates. I’m not going to bore you with my whole life story, but I’ll give you enough information so that you have a pretty good idea of who I really am. By the way, please call me “F”, all of my friends do. Let’s get crackin’ on this now, we don’t have much time together.
I think the most important thing for you to know about me is that my atomic number is 9. This tells you a lot about my temperament, my place in the world, and my personality. I am incredibly reactive. Don’t let this scare you off now, ladies. It is simply in my nature and I cannot hold myself back, no matter what the cost. Perhaps it would make you feel better if I told you that my atomic weight is 18.998? See now, I’m not some gigantic element who can easily overpower you. I have strength, to be sure, but I am not some burly brute who will intimidate you with my size.
I should tell you that my valence shell already has 7 electrons in it. I have been known to readily form compounds with other elements in the past, but I am not looking to bond with as many atoms as I can, no, I am simply looking for that last electron to fill my valence shell and to keep me stable. You must understand and come to know my other 7 valence electrons, however, and that isn’t always easy. I know how stubborn you electrons can be about getting to know one another. See to it that you’re civil with one another though, because you’ll have to share a room with another one of my electrons. Oh, and I hope you don’t mind if I refer to you all as my valence vixens. I think it has a nice ring to it and I figured I should give a more special name to my electrons who participate in chemical reactions.
As I told you before, I am incredibly reactive. What I didn’t mention before is that I’m also a poisonous gas. I know, I know, you’ve met poisonous gases before and they were power hungry jerks. That’s just not me, and if you’ll give me a chance, I know we’ll get along wondefully. Okay, I’m really getting nervous about telling you this last part: I am the most chemically reactive and electronegative element there is. So maybe I’m reactive, but I feel like its part of my charm and, really, who doesn’t want a passionate mate? The electronegative part just feels like a bad stereotype. I’m my own man and I think being electronegative can be a really positive thing (get it? Haha.).
I’ll also be good to you. I’ll help you to prevent tooth decay and isn’t that what we’re all really looking for in a relationship? If I were a bad guy, why would they put me in tap water? They wouldn’t. And, not to brag, but I have been involved in combination with some of the noble gases, including Argon, Krypton, Xenon, and Radon. They’re very particular about who they bond with, as we all know, so maybe there’s something special about me that you just have to look a little more deeply to see.
It’s very important to me that you get to know my friends. My friend, Carbon, for instance is an amazing guy. We have the strongest bond in organic chemistry and, trust me, that’s saying something. We have a very stable relationship, so stable in fact that we are actually responsible for Teflon. If that doesn’t impress you, then I don’t think anything will. Another good friend of mine is Hydrogen, though I think we have a somewhat tumultuous friendship. If we get together, even if it’s cold and dark out, we react explosively with one another. I still love the guy, so he’s very important to me, but even when he’s a liquid and I’m a solid, we clash. Oh boy, and you do not want to throw Oxygen into the mix with us. You see, Oxygen and Hydrogen are very close and they have a bond so strong that they have their own couple name. Like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie form Brangelina, Oxygen and Hydrogen form Water. When the air is moist, I react with Water to form Hydrofluoric Acid. If you thought Hydrochloric Acid was bad, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
Now, I have to be honest and tell you that I do have multiple isotopes. This is a touchy subject for me because only one of them is stable. He’s 19. The others have short half-lives and are not found in nature. I guess this makes me a mononuclidic element, huh? My isotope who is 18 has the longest half-life of all of my isotopes and he’s very successful. He’s used in PET scans. Listen to me, going on and on about my isotopes.
I am looking to settle down now, but a couple of things are stopping me. For one, I have a very pungent odor. It’s characteristic of me and who I am, but some people have a problem with it. I’ve lived with it for so long that I don’t even notice it anymore. I’m also very difficult to isolate. Many have tried before and lost their sight or even their lives. One man did finally isolate me in the 1800s and for that he won a Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1906, but we kind of grew apart after that. We just wanted different things. I think he was only in it for the fame and fortune.
To sum it all up, I am a highly reactive halogen who wants to bond with one more electron in an effort to become stable. I’m the most electronegative element, but I feel like my covalent behavior makes up for that. I may be small in atomic size, but I am a smooth operator. After all, my name comes from the Latin “fluere”, which means flow. Give me a chance, ladies. My atomic number may be 9, but I am most definitely a 10.

Comments: 1 Floosie - Hello stranger.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Uh, yeah, you write a fucking comma between the city and the state on an envelope.

And says isn't spelled "sais".

And quicksilver isn't fool's gold, it's mercury.


Comments: Hello stranger.

Friday, July 16, 2010


I feel depressed.


I only have $25 in the bank.

On the most recent episode of Top Chef, they killed dozens of live crabs.

People are mean and harsh.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I feel like I'm being tested right now.

I didn't get into that Masters program, now it's too late to get into any other program, so I won't get financial aid until, hopefully, next Fall (2011). I'm not sure if I'll get my classes paid for either and, if I don't go to school, I'll have to start paying back my student loan, which I can't afford. I can't apply for another MA program until next Fall and I still probably won't be qualified. The Psychology MA program requires that you take the GRE, which costs $150.

I just got a ticket which Joe tells me costs $400. I turned right at the very end of a yellow light, so it turned red and I guess it was one of the 4 stops in Stockton that has a camera for not stopping before you turn right on a red.

We applied to get food stamps and haven't heard anything in 8 days, even though they said they would contact us in 3. We won't be able to take classes in the Summer, which I'm not sure is good or bad, as far as food stamp qualification goes.

I am getting my BA at the end of this semester, but it's in Psychology and can do, literally, nothing for me as far as getting a job goes. I've applied for a few jobs, but have heard nothing yet and I don't think that I will. I have too many tattoos to hope to work anywhere normal, probably not even with long-sleeved shirts, because I have tattoos on both of my hands too.

I'm trying to lose 50 pounds and I've already lost 50. Which is semi-yay, but it's very stressful.

I have a cat who's bleeding from her mouth and I'm not sure why, but we've taken her to the vet 3 times in the last year and have paid over $600 for surgery for her.

Joe will start school at the Turlock campus of Stanislaus in the Fall. He still doesn't drive, so I'll have to drive him. I thought I would be taking classes there too, so it wouldn't be a big deal, but now it will be a fucking asshole. And it will cost money to drive there and to park there and Joe will be the only one receiving financial aid and it will be all we have to live off of until he gets more financial aid in the Spring. We have about $300 right now to last us all Summer.

I hate to sound dramatic, but I so badly want to cut myself.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

2:24AM - It's been too long.

It's so weird to me when I become overwhelmed by the simplest of problems.

I got my letter in the mail today saying that I need to schedule an appointment ASAP with an adviser so that I can get my graduation approval form signed by all the people who need to sign it. This requires me to go to Turlock, which I fucking hate doing. I realize this, and yet, I'm pretty positive that I would be driving to Turlock most days of the week were I to be accepted into the Social Work masters program I applied to. I don't know why, but the drive to Turlock is scarier to me and gives me more anxiety than most other drives.

Joe and I have been considering going to Disneyland. We have added up how much things would cost at a minimum and for both of our tickets being $300, a car being $250, and a hotel being $200, we are already spending a shitload before I even get into gas, food, and general expenses. I really want to go, but Joe and I will not be getting any more money until the Fall semester, which means, like, August. And, you know, I hate driving long distances.. I hate driving, period. I have ridiculous anxiety that fucking sucks out my soul and makes me miserable. I am afraid of a lot of rides now, so I'm not even sure how much I would enjoy Disneyland at this point.

Those two paragraphs pretty much sum up my frustration. There's nothing major going on.. but, you know, I have 5 classes right now and one of them is so hard for me to keep up with because of the others and because there are no due dates. I really am not freaking out or anything, but I would like to have everything a little more under control than it is. But, you know, if you could just make the anxiety go away, I would feel peachy.

Don't get my wrong, I'm very optimistic about everything going on.. I just felt like I should get it all out there somewhere.

Current mood: tired
Comments: Hello stranger.

Monday, October 12, 2009

2:01AM - Hmm....

What shall I do for my birthday?

There's an option to have people over here, which is what I want, but my parents are making it all seem pretty shitty. Guilt trip, and we'd have to pay for their hotel, and my dad's going off about people getting jumped in the neighborhood, and people suing you if they get in an accident after they drank at your house.. It's just.. annoying. So I'm not sure if it's worth it now.

But what else is there?

The reason I wanted it at my house to begin with is so I can have a few drinks, which I never, ever do. Even without drinks, where could we go? To a restaurant? A bar, even? But that doesn't seem very fun for me. What about camping? I could only find one place that's close and it's $100 a night and you HAVE to stay for two nights on the weekends. It's just all so annoying and stressful.. and annoying again.

I just want to hang out with people I like and to have fun.. and maybe have a drink or two.

Fuck, I don't know what to do.

Current mood: confused
Comments: Hello stranger.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

9:10PM - Some interesting things I learned in my child abuse and neglect class...

Most people who commit child sexual abuse are not pedophiles. Pedophiles are people whose primary sexual attraction is to children, but most people who sexually abuse children are primarily attracted to people close to their own age, but something is going on in their life that makes them turn to children.

The most common kind of sexual abuse in intrafamilial, meaning within the family. It's common for fathers to molest their daughters, but they are less likely to do so if they are active caregivers of their child(e.g. bathe them and change their diapers). And, even when abuse is extrafamilial, or outside of the family, it is still most often someone that you and your child know, and not a stranger.

Signs that a child has been sexually abused are:
Drastic eating changes (e.g. anorexia)
A sudden need to do everything (e.g. get good grades, do multiple extracurricular activities)
Withdrawal and introversion
An age inappropriate knowledge of sex
Sexual and/or promiscuous behavior (children sometimes confuse affection with sexuality after molestation)
Excessive masturbation
They tell you

Do not put the words into the child's mouth that they've been touched inappropriately. And, when discussing these issues, even if you're furious or devastated or whatever, remain calm. This is the most important thing.

Women can molest children also, but it is underreported.

Don't force your child to hug or kiss anyone they don't want to. Even you. If you're leaving for work and your child doesn't feel like hugging you that day, allow them that. If you force them, it will set a precedence that adults can force them if they so choose and that their body is not their own to control.

You should not say to your child that you would kill someone if they molested your child or anything like that because that could very well make them afraid to tell you if something does happen or has happened. This is especially true if the perpetrator of the abuse is a family member. It reminds me of reading Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. She talks about being sexual abused(both molested and raped) at age 7 by her stepfather. She is too afraid to tell because she's been threatened, but her family found out when they found her blood-stained underwear under her mattress. Her mother has the man killed and Maya is riddled with guilt. She feels bad for the man and she feels like it is her fault that he's dead. She feels this way for a long, long time. In part, I think, because she did love this man in some way.. and, when he touched her, she felt cared for, but especially when they would lay together afterward.

I would say that you should also not act too fearful around your child about molestation and you shouldn't openly react too emotionally around your children. My boyfriend was molested by an older man who he can't really recall his relation to, but he thinks it was a friend's dad. He never told his mother; she still doesn't know, because he felt that she couldn't handle it and still can't. So this guy who made a 5 year old perform oral sex on him gets to just go on with his life, where he'll probably sexually assault more children, because my boyfriend was afraid that his mother couldn't emotionally handle hearing something like that. It's not fair to put that on your child, so you should try to keep your extreme emotions about the matter and other matters inside or, at least, away from your child.

Click here to read the rest.Collapse )

This class ended today. It was only 2 full Saturdays, so there shouldn't be anymore posts about it. Make sure you read through this one though.. I think there is a lot of interesting and useful information in there.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Monday, June 22, 2009

6:25AM - As long as you're here, my life is good.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Friday, June 19, 2009

10:29PM - This is just a good story.

My dad was talking to Joe a few days ago about how people are jerks, basically. Joe said that customers are really rude at Starbucks and it can be frustrating.
My dad says, "Too bad you can't throw coffee in their face."
Joe says, "Yeah, that'd be nice."
My dad says, "How how is that Starbucks coffee? Is it as hot as McDonalds' coffee?"
Joe, "It's 200 degrees."
My dad, "So that's pretty hot.. that'd burn someone pretty good."
Joe, "It's not too hot, I've gotten some on myself and it stings, but it didn't leave a mark or anything."
My dad, "So you could probably throw coffee in someone's face and not have to worry about having to pay a big medical bill. Well, goodnight."

And, remember, he robbed a bank, robbed his uncle, robbed some other places, trashed some place he was mad at with his teen son and nephews, tried to kill himself probably a dozen times, has sued like 6 people.. I'm just saying.. It's not like he's all talk. He actually is a bit of a psycho.

Oh yeah.. and Joe was just talking.. He didn't think that's what my dad was getting at when he asked how hot the coffee is.. He's not going to blind anyone with coffee.. A microwaved chocolate chunk cookie, maybe.. Even a toffee almond bar.. but never coffee.

Comments: 2 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

5:39AM - Want to have a good day? Watch these.

I love Todd Glass. You should listen to his podcast with Jimmy Dore and Stephane Zamorano, Comedy and Everything Else. It's fucking awesome.

Comments: Hello stranger.

3:08AM - Oh, fuck yeah.

Since we're fucking moving anyway, my landlord decided to do some repairs on the house that have been needed for years. One is that he replaced our faucet. Cool.. no more leaking.. but no more spray nozzle either. Fucking asshole.

Yeah, it looked totally fucked before, but it's not awesome after. My landlord is cheap is the lesson here. He said, "It's kind of cool how you can see the design the glue makes through the paneling." You know what? It isn't. I don't really give a shit, but my god, that's just sloppy.

Oh.. and I have a serious blog on MySpace right now about how one of my dogs has been missing for 3 days and another one we put to sleep yesterday. If you're interested, go there and enjoy!!!!!!

Comments: 2 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Friday, May 22, 2009

7:28PM - Rantin' like Dennis Miller.

"You guys don't eat white bread anymore? They say wheat bread is made with sawdust. You'd rather eat sawdust than regular flour, huh?"

That's my dad. The imbecile.

Eddie came over a bit ago and told my parents that he feels like they made him too afraid of things and he doesn't want them to do that to Aiden. My dad was sure that this wasn't true. My brother was too afraid to play football because of my parents and my dad said, "I was just telling you about my experience. You get hit in the face a lot when you play football. If you like getting hit in the face, then that's fine. I don't like getting hit in the face." Then Aiden, who is 3, said he'd like to be a firefighter. My dad said, "You don't want to do that, you'll get all burned up." Case closed.

This is a fucking rant. I am in a shitty mood and I'm just depressed today. I've actually been wanting to write about how fucking annoying my father is lately.

We have new neighbors who are kind of obnoxious. My dad called the cops of them a fucking million times.. Because they dance in the street and sell marijuana. Hmm. But he goes into the garage all of the time to listen for them or see what they're doing. It's fucking disgustingly annoying. AND he makes racist comments about them all of the time. He tells me and Joe constantly, "They were out dancing in the street.. about ten of them, so I called the cops." He's angry too.. angry that they're dancing. Ugh.. that's not the racist part, but it also kind of is.

We have to move because of these new neighbors. My landlord is selling the duplex because these people sit on his lawn. It is actually really rude, though they have gotten better recently. So.. we're kind of fucked. We have 3 dogs and 9 cats.. not really easy to find a new place. And Joe and I don't feel wanted. Joe pays rent, which annoys me. Eddie and Ashley never had to pay rent even though they BOTH had jobs. Joe pays rent and buys stuff for the house all the time, plus gives my mom free Starbucks. He also goes to school. I think what happened was that Joe had a lot of money for a bit and bought some game systems and a new tv and my parents figured that it was unfair that he had all this money and they didn't. The truth is, he sold TONS of shit on Amazon and got around $1000, then he got his financial aid check for around $1000, plus he works. We don't have a savings anymore, so I guess they've done their job.

There's more, but I can't really talk about it because it's not really supposed to be out yet. I think I already fucked up on one thing and I swear to fucking god, if someone gets mad at me for it, I'm going to flip out.

Oh yeah, and I have to have a fucking Masters to make $45,000 a year. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even have my Bachelors yet. How the fuck am I supposed to ever move out? I was planning on graduating in the Winter, but Stanislaus isn't offering any classes I need in the Summer. Literally, zero Psych classes in the Summer.. not even on the Turlock campus. And I have to get a loan just to pay for Joe to go to the dentist. And.. god, I wish I could just explain the situation, but I can't. And I need a new car. I'm afraid my car is going to die anyday, which is really what's keeping me from taking a class I need in Turlock in the Winter. I just feel a little bit fucked..

I like to complain and you can think whatever you'd like. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, upset, and jealous.

I swear, I'm normally a really positive person. Ugh.. I'm just depressed today. Seriously.. it's rare. Haha.

More complaining: Kris Allen? Really? Fuck you, you fucking Christian lovers.

Comments: 3 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


Monique Rosaz died today. She was 22. You probably know her.. Everybody knows her. She has a twin named Amber. They were always together. The two cute punk girls at every show who dressed adorably.

I can't tell you exactly what happened.. all I know is that she died in the hospital.

She was in the process of getting things on track.. she went through rehab just a month or two ago.

I don't even know what I want to say. I just know that I want to say something. She was a nice and incredible girl. Cared about everyone, cared about animals, was really into her family. Really, truly the nicest person you'd ever want to meet. I know that's oftentimes just something people say, but she really was. She really was so incredibly sweet.

To be honest, it's still not clicking with me. I know it's horribly sad.. I know that I can't stop thinking about it.. but I still don't really know that she's gone, you know?

Send love to her family. They've suffered a loss bigger than most of us can even begin to imagine.

Comments: 5 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

2:24AM - Save this pit bull.

*****Please send this to your friends QUICKLY*****




Petition - E-mails - Phone Calls Needed Now

Tomorrow, Tuesday December 18th may be last day to save a pit bull named Lucy who is fighting a death sentence. Shannon Keith of ARME/Uncaged Films is Lucy's attorney. They are trying to collect 10,000 signatures before Tuesday morning, December 18th. The count now stands at: 3195

Go here to sign the petition and please pass this along to your friends:


Note: for some reason the url will not post as a hot link. To get to the petition take the address above and remove all of the *'s.

Lucy's time is running out and she has been cruelly impounded since July 30th.

Additionally, you can help by making immediate contact with the following:

The address for the city hall (Mayor and City Council) is:
City Hall
456 West Olive Avenue
(P.O. Box 3707)
Sunnyvale, CA 94088-3707
Telephone: (408) 730-7473
FAX: (408) 730-7699
E-mail: council@ci.sunnyvale.ca.us
URL: http://www.ci.sunnyvale.ca.us

The e-mail addresses of the Mayor and city council members are:

Mayor Otto Lee otto@ottolee.org
Councilmember John n. Howe, jh2@aol.com
Councilmember Dean J. Chu. CouncilDeanChu@yahoo.com
Councilmember Ron Swegles (address to general e-mail at council@ci.sunnyvale.ca.us
or send FAX to 408-730-7699)
Councilmember Melinda Hamilton mhamilton@ci.sunnyvale.ca.us
Councilmember Christopher R. Moylan, cmoylan@ci.sunnyvale.ca.us


Win Animal Rights
website: http://war-online.org
email: centcom@war-online.org

W.A.R. (WIN ANIMAL RIGHTS) is an independent non-profit organization not affiliated or associated with SHAC, SHAC USA or any other group or organization and does not conduct or incite any illegal activity. The above information is not meant to incite or request any illegal actions or illegal activities of any kind. If you have any questions about the legality of any act, we encourage everyone receiving this (or the) action alert(s) to check your local laws and ordinances before proceeding to do anything.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Joe told me that he is in love with me. And that he means it more than he's ever meant it with anyone else.

Hahaha.. What? Me?
And I totally believe him, by the way.. He's really not a douchebag or a player.. or a liar. He's a really good person.

And he told me this after I told him that I still don't want to go out with him right now.. Because I'm weird.. And I'm just not ready for it.

But please.. someone loves me. So unnatural.

Comments: 1 Floosie - Hello stranger.

Sunday, October 28, 2007


Hey! On October 11th, I said that Joe is tops.. and it's the 28th.. and he's still tops! Wow.. that's a while for me, right?
Well, he's fucking crazy about me.. and it's nice. He loves everything about me.. It's soooo weird. Every stupid fucking thing.. Every horrible character flaw.. haha. So..yeah.. I just wanted to say that.

It smells like formaldehyde.. Ick.

Love you guys. Let's go to bars!!
I love to drive, so I don't mind travelling.

Comments: 2 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

2:45AM - Pretty good time.

So..Andrew's out and Joe is in. Hahah.

Yeah..today Andrew told me he's not that into me anymore..so..bye.
But I've been talking to this new guy, Joe, who is fucking amazing. He doesn't date people, which will make things better, I think. Anyway..we get along really fucking well. He's incredibly funny and thinks I'm funny too. He's just great..and is a Virgo/Libra, which is nice. We talked on the phone for around 7 hours today. Tell me. Niiccee.

Just thought I'd tell you.
LiveJournal has become my place to talk about guys, it seems.


And my birthday is in less than a week. I'm still lost on the whole party thing because my parents have, like, no money this month..So they're not sure if they'll be able to get a hotel so that I can have people over. Sorry guys..and if I end up being able to have a party, I'll understand if you can't come because it's such short notice. This is so fucking stupid.
But, no matter what, I want to go to bars with you!

Comments: Hello stranger.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

8:28PM - Mini Cows.

Woo. Holy lord.

Comments: Hello stranger.

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Hello everyone.

I just felt like I should update..because I always read your posts..and I should post something sometime, right? Not let MySpace take up all of my thoughts.

Well, I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks now..and he fucking rules. He's smart..and sooooooo funny. We have the same sense of humor..and it's so cool. We get along really well. And he doesn't freak out at all when I act psycho. He calls me everyday..and follows through on everything he says. He's tops..haha. And he's a Pisces! Can you believe it?? He's an EMT and a volunteer firefighter. Tell me..god..fuck..woo. Adore him.

Aside from that..I've just been going to school at Delta..still. Really sad, trust me, I know. But I got my AA last semester..and I've still never seen a counselor. I could probably be at a different school by now for my Bachelors if I would just talk to someone.
I'm just taking Spanish and Nutrition right now. I'm such a goddamn slacker.

I'll be 21 on October 17th. And I plan on having a party on the 19th, I believe. So..you'd better come. I'm not sure if it will be huge..I'm thinking more that I just want people to come over, get fucked up, and play Battle of the Sexes.
And..I will be going to bars a lot. So..be ready..because I'll need friends there. This means you!

I love you all. Truly. So much.

Comments: 6 Floosies - Hello stranger.

Friday, April 27, 2007

2:40PM - Some of the best animal rights videos...

If you haven't checked them out already, I would reccommend watching... 

Warning: This link will take you to a row of videos depicting, without mercy, the horrific things that animals go through. These videos were not made to gross you out, they were made to inform you. They were made to make people care about animal suffering, and to keep you mad if you already care so that you never forget how important it is to stand up for animals at every opportunity..even when Uncle Fred is just making a 'joke' about how good pigs taste. These videos don't sugar-coat things for you so, if you wish to remain blissfully ignorant, I recommend watching your copy of Flubber again instead of these videos. But keep in mind..It's not some gory horror movie that went over the top..these are actual murders of animals. The animals had to go through the real torture..so try not to feel too sorry for yourself when the videos gross you out. You're welcome.

The reality of it.Collapse )

Comments: Hello stranger.

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